It's at least once a day that I get frustrated with one or more person and the way they present themselves on the internet. I decided to do this blog after receiving some answers on my next most recent blog. If you haven't read that it's basically a rant in question form. In one question, I asked why the internet can't be noob free. I appreciate all that answer the questions and I did get some really good feedback on that one. So I decided to write a short guidebook for the internet. Also, noobs, I'm here to help. If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

A lot of this blog isn't only going to be about Myspace and Facebook, but also forums and any other kind of discussion board.

Here are some things not to do:

1. Don't post slutty pictures of yourself on your social networking page. This will come back to bite you in the ass, I promise. Remember the internet is viewed by everyone and I hate to sound like a public service announcement but there are rapists out there. Also, if your parents are technology-literate they will most likely find a way to view your private Myspace profile. (Trust me, it's possible.)

2. Don't join any website or group just to bash on its purpose. For example, don't join a Facebook group for fans of a certain band if you plan to just talk about how shit they are. You wouldn't want someone doing that to you, would you?

3. Don't talk shit behind anyone's back. (This applies to real life also, but especially on the internet) This allows the person you're talking to to have solid proof that you were saying things about certain people. There are such things as printers and they can be used against you.

4. Try hard not to be a douche. This especially applies to noobs. I know that typing in all caps makes you feel strong and powerful but everyone else with common sense thinks you're an idiot.

5. Don't post so many flashy, large graphics. For people who have slower computers, it can freeze their system for hours just cos they wanted to picture comment you back. It's also very tacky and makes you look really naive. Also, having more than one video on your profile is also a no-no. Especially if it automatically plays along with your profile song. The last thing someone wants to hear when they visit your shit profile is five terrible songs being played at once. This also slows down computers.

And here are some things you should do:

1. Learn at least one language such as HTML, CSS, or BBC depending on what sort of website you plan to have a profile on. I'm not saying you should become a master on any of the above, but you should at least know enough to remove the annoying "GET A PIMPED OUT PROFILE HERE" advertisements th
at happen to block your pictures in your layout.

2. If you're old enough to use the internet, you're old enough to learn how to use at least relatively proper grammar. This applies especially to middle or upper-class white girls that go to private schools but pretend they have no brain (when we all know there is a tiny one in there) when they get on Myspace.

3. Start using the internet in a bit more productive way. I know that Myspace isn't very productive, but if you're going to use it, be as smart as possible about it. What I mean is, don't join Myspace if you're just going to be inactive and waste space on the internet.

4. Sign up for websites using your real e-mail! Yes, I know this can sometimes cause spam. If anything, set up a separate e-mail account just for these sorts of things. You will probably lose your password eventually and need it back. Or you might need to cancel your account three years later when you start college and remember those drunken pictures you posted of yourself in 9th grade.

5. Don't be mean to people and treat others how you would want to be treated. If you really don't like someone's profile/blog/etc then use constructive criticism. The person is a lot more likely to realize that their profile is shit and change it if you're nice about it, rather than if you say something like "LOL UR PROFILE SUCKS ITS SOOO STUPID U R GAY"

*** FORUMS! *** (This needs to be a separate section cos I'm aware that most of the people that will read this blog don't belong to any boards.)

1. Do not start five similar topics cos the admin who are less noobish will probably ban you, or even worse, hate you.

2. Never, and I repeat, never post/talk about Runescape. Enough said. Don't understand why? Please do us all a favor and leave the internet as soon as possible.

3. Search through older threads and ask Google before asking a dumb question. You'll end up looking stupid if you start a topic asking about bananas and then someone smarter and less noobish than you replies and says "That's a great topic but it's already been started.

4. Read the FAQ before you post.

5. Don't ever join forums you won't be active on. Also, if you plan to stop posting, disable your account or let admins know that you won't be active.

6. There isn't really a rule on when to quote on someone's post to reply to them or to simply post a reply without quoting them, but this is the way I look at it. If the post the other person made is on a different page in the thread, you should probably quote them. Also, if you're replying to two different people on points they made, you should quote them. However, if you're the next post after the person you're replying to there's normally no need to quote.

7. This applies mainly to musician/actor forums and girls. DON'T BE A FANGIRL. Well, at least don't publicly show it. It gets really old to see four thousand topics started by fangirls saying "omg *example guy 1* is sooooo hot lolol he is mine lol" Chances are, everyone knows they're attractive. He's also more than likely not yours.

8. Now that I'm on the topic of music forums, respect the wives/girlfriends of band members. Don't bash them. The rule of thumb is this: imagine everything you post is going to be read by the band. They wouldn't be too impressed to see you hating on their guitarist's wife.

9. But remember, it's definitely okay to obsess in the privacy of your own home.

10. When posting pictures, make sure you know what you're doing. You probably need to use HTML or BBCode.

11. For the fortunate group of people who treat the internet like it should be, go easy on the noobs. When they ask questions, try to help them out as much as possible, still claiming your rightful place as the truly leet people you are.

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